One of the most beautiful views I can remember is the view from my 18th floor apartment in Pearl City, Hawaii after a rainstorm. The clouds had just broken and the sun was beginning to peak through. As I stood in front of my window I could see a rainbow developing right in front of me. I swear I could see the top of the rainbow. I was in complete and utter awe. I remember thinking, "This is what beautiful feels like." (highly recommend visiting Hawaii after one of their rainstorms by the way)
About 5 years ago I was at one of the lowest points of my life. I had a job as a telemarketing bill collector for the cable company. Yes, I was one of those people who called you to let you know your bill was past due and you were about to get shut off unless you paid me what you owed, and then I would try to sell you more services than you could afford, all the while raising the amount of your services you couldn't afford to begin with. (I think you can see why this was a bleak job) I sat for 8+ hours, miserable, trying to make my $4 commissions and stuffing my face in the process. I think at one point I had eaten McDonald's for lunch every day for 6 months. I was the heaviest I have ever been and I was so depressed. I hated my job, my life and myself for allowing me to become this other ballooned up, miserable person. I can remember feeling so depressed driving to work one day that I honestly contemplated driving my car into the path of a semi. Yeah - shocking. But that's honestly how I felt. I don't think my husband or my family ever realized (until they read this) that I felt so desperate.
Shortly after that, my job ended up getting outsourced to India and through some other odd events I eventually ended up back at the school I had worked at previously for 6 years. I worked support in Special Education and it was my heart's true passion. For the first time in a long time I could begin to see the sun starting to poke out from behind those clouds. I slowly started to lose weight, and lost close to 40 pounds. The last year or so I've become a little complacent about getting to my ideal weight. It's been easy to say, "well at least I don't weight...." or "at least I'm healthier than what I was..." or my favorite, "this bed is so nice and warm and it's so dark outside so I'll just skip running today." But you know what gets me up at 4:30am (other than setting my clock 1/2 hr earlier to fool myself) - it's remembering how unhappy and miserable I felt and even more - the view I had from the bottom as I began to reclaim my life and my happiness. Feeling the beauty of a rainbow beginning to appear. And that's why tomorrow morning - I will choose to get up and continue to Run For My Life.
ps: Please pay your cable bill, and if you can't be nice to the people who call you... God loves telemarketers too!
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