Finding my strength, my courage, my inspiration

So this year I turn 40.  Turning 30 was great for me, I felt empowered.  The "trying to find yourself  20s" were over and I had a rough idea of who I was.  9 years later and here's good ole 40 knocking on the door.  I have to admit it I am a bit... ok... a lot freaked out.  So there's nothing like a good mid life crisis to make you sign up to run a half marathon.  Yep, that's what I did.  3 weeks after my 40th birthday I'll be crossing the finish line of my 1st (and quite possibly only) half marathon.  I know for sure I'll cross that finish line.  Will I cross it upright?  That's hard to say.  Crawling over it is a better possibility.

Since signing up,  I've been researching different training plans for before the race, motivating songs for my IPod during the race, and knee replacement surgeries for after the race.  During my research I decided to take a week off of running before the "official" training begins to get the 39.98 year old knees in best shape they could be.  During my week of rest I began to second guess my hasty decision to embark on this journey - as all hasty decisions tend to make you do. What was I thinking?!  How the heck am I going to be able to do this?!  Running 13 miles is a lot more than running 6 miles!  I needed to re-talk myself into getting my head in the right place.  I needed inspiration!  I needed motivation!  I just plain needed courage.  So, I started thinking about some of the people in my life who has shown real courage and strength and found myself in complete and utter awe of how the human spirit can rise to the occasion when called.

I first thought of my stepson Justin who over 6 years ago while serving in Iraq was waiting for the word of the birth of his first child - a son.  Now, I can't even begin to imagine what our military sons and daughters have to endure in a crap hole like that, and on top of it, have to be that far away while your first child is born.  That's more than I would be able to endure.  That is strength and courage.

I also thought about my brother in law John, who as we speak is in the fight for his life.  At the age of 32,  he is fighting colon cancer.  With biweekly chemo treatments that make him ill, and then on top of that having to go home with a chemo pump attached to you,  he still smiles and relentlessly teases me about forgetting my one and only responsibility of Christmas...BRING THE BUNS!  I've not heard him once complain about his situation, but boy - oh - boy did I hear about forgetting the buns!  He is my inspiration.

 colon cancer awareness

So I've found my courage, my strength, and my inspiration and didn't have to go far to find it.  12 weeks from now they will be my strength and courage and long after I cross the finish line, my inspiration as I continue to run-for-my-life.